In Paris I tried to order some croissants in a bakery. I spoke slowly "six croissaints", pointing to the crummy broad. The woman behind the counter looked at me like I was insane. After 7 times repeating this act, she responded "Ah… croissants!"

Photography by LongHornDave.

I went to a customer a couple of years ago and I tried to explain him the steps to be taken to install his new system. The guy worked for over 30 years in this industrial company, and had worked his way up from bottom to the top. I rolled out my A3 Gantt chart. He looked at the sheet, tore it apart, took a small piece of paper and a pen, asking me: "what do you want me to do?"

It was pretty arrogant of me to enforce my bloody Gantt on him, when I could tell him everything he needed to know just in plain English (well, Dutch in my case).

Users tell their requirements to "software dudes / dudettes", who translate them into a pretty design, using charts with squares and arrows. Then they go back to the users, flashing their design documents for their noses: "so this is what you want".

In the same category: the consultant talks to the end user who works for years behind the old system. "Please describe me your workflow and objectives. Try to highlight the key performance indicators." It is a classic user too stupid risk. So what if the old geezer can only express himself in terms of the legacy system? So what if he thinks KPI is an airline? It is the ol' "speaking in public" lesson… speak in the language of your audience…

Arrogant b…